The Butterfly Project© 2009
All rights reserved.
All rights reserved.
“You’ve got to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative and latch
on to the affirmative.”
–Johnny Mercer
It will come as no surprise, that after living my entire life believing I was damaged merchandise, trying to overcome those pesky voices in my head that continually told me I was a lost cause was a tall order. Every hour of every day a war raged inside me and for so many years, the negative voices had always won, but knowing it and doing something about it are two different things.
The difference between a life that is lived with hope and a life that is lived in desperation comes down to this question. What do you believe? The belief that you don’t matter, that you don’t measure up, that life will never get any better, that you cannot change, is a guarantee that you will stay right where you are.
It’s time to believe for something better.
No matter where you are right now, or how bad your circumstances may look, something miraculous happens when you change what you believe, because what you believe is directly related to what you will receive.
Life is a series of tests. No one is excused. Just like school, you must pass the test to move on. If you are weak in an area, you can be sure that you will continue to be tested there. Armed with that knowledge, problems and struggles in that area are expected and will come as no surprise. Knowledge is power.
What you do with that knowledge is what will determine your future.
I spent the first 35 years of my life believing that I would never get very far. I was told over and over that I didn’t matter and I believed it. The day I stopped believing the lie is the day that everything changed.
Even if no one else in the world believes in you, the most crucial step to getting to the next level is to believe in yourself. There’s a high likelihood that you are surrounded by negative voices telling you that you’ll never get very far and it can’t be done, so it’s important to be able to combat those voices with some powerful messages of your own.
Here’s a story to illustrate my point.
We have a little female cat about six months old. She’s a sweet little girl and has never given us much trouble, other than when she was a kitten and had a deadly virus. Note: There is no such thing as a free cat.
Anyway, I digress.
One day a couple months ago I woke up to find three huge tomcats on my back patio staring a hole through our sliding glass window as our little cat lay asleep in the morning sun. We were a little taken aback by our new visitors and watched them curiously as we ate our breakfast.
That afternoon our little cat started meowing constantly and rubbing against the patio door. We were alarmed at her behavior and tried to keep her busy with distractions, but to no avail. Soon, the tomcats were fighting with each other outside our door and for three long and tortuous days the sound of cats screaming that makes your hair stand up on end was emanating from all around our house, and our little cat nearly lost her mind.
Amid talks of violence and some minor surgical alterations to our unwelcome invaders, a chance phone call to a neighbor gave me some critical information. What you do, she said, is take a bucket of ice cold water and keep it by the door. Whenever they come up there, dump it on them. It’s how they got the term “cold shower.”
I thought it was ridiculous, but at that point, I was willing to try anything. That evening as the hootenanny got into full swing, one by one, the little monsters would come right up to the door. I’d tried the broom and shooing them away, but if you’ve ever had this little phenomenon happen to you, you know that the little buggers are not deterred. They don’t budge. This time, I went out with my trusty bucket of water and dumped it on the closest to the door. His initial reaction was stunned, as he took off across the snow in the yard, as the others sat staring a hole in the door. One by one I went out and dumped cold water on them until the patio was free of all intruders and I dried myself off, satisfied I had solved the problem.
Two hours later our cat was once again rubbing up against the door, meowing loudly, and I ran to look out, but found the patio bare. Curious as to what the problem could be now, I stepped out and looked across the yard to see all those dumb cats sitting on the fence, growling their sinister chant, like dirty old men on a street corner, “Send us the girl.”
I would not be defeated by a gang of hairy letches.
I trudged across the snow with my trusty bucket and one by one doused them where they sat, soaking them with such force and voracity that they flew up into the air and over the fence. Tomcat Popsicles, each and every one.
I have never seen or heard from them again.
Why am I telling you this story? Sometimes the only weapon we have against the negative voices in life is determination and a way to drown them out.
We all fight the tomcats on the fence of our lives who sit and growl their insidious remarks. “You’re not good enough.” You’re stupid.” “No one cares.” “You’ll never amount to anything.” “Nothing’s going to change.” “Give up.” Or whatever your little negative voices say…
If you’re going to beat the tomcats, you better be ready with a bucket of water.
How do you do that? It’s easier than you might think.
Get out a sheet of paper and write a list of 10 things you like about yourself. Let’s call it the “bucket” list. Such as:
1. I am creative.
2. I have a great sense of humor.
3. I am a good cook.
4. I am a good mother.
5. I am a good writer.
6. I smell good. (Most of the time).
7. I am kind to people.
8. I’m a pretty good dancer.
9. I’m worthy to be loved.
10. I’m generous.
Now, make your own.
Next, you are going to write 10 things you wish you could say about yourself, but maybe don’t really believe yet, such as:
11. I am always patient.
12. I am responsible and have energy to accomplish whatever the day calls for.
13. I am honest and think on good things.
14. I am not depressed.
15.I am not pitiful or angry.
16. I am loved and I love everyone.
17. I have self control in all areas of my life.
18. I love to exercise.
19. I am a wise mother.
20. I am blessed.
Get the idea?
The purpose of this list may seem trivial right now, maybe even ridiculous, but the power behind your bucket list is immense. It will become an essential part of your daily life.
The most powerful enemy you have in life is always in your mind. Negative thought patterns and negative input from people must be overcome with positive input. It takes four positives to eliminate one negative, which, if you're anything like me means there's a massive backlog and drastic measures are called for. Since most of us don’t have our own cheering section, with the bucket list we have now become our own cheerleader. I've said mine every day for 10 years and I can honestly tell you that just by speaking them out loud to myself has forever altered the way I think and silenced more negative voices than I can count.
Every day for the next month, pull out your list and say it out loud. The first few times you might feel a little silly, but the more you concentrate on the words and the more often you do it, the easier it will become.
After a month or so, revisit your list and add to it. Need to be more punctual? Add that to your list – i.e., I am punctual and always leave on time. Need to be kinder to people? Add it to the list – i.e. I am kind to everyone around me. Whenever you think of an area that you feel is important, add it to your list.
Make your bucket list a permanent part of your daily life and it will become the catalyst that transforms your future.
on to the affirmative.”
–Johnny Mercer
It will come as no surprise, that after living my entire life believing I was damaged merchandise, trying to overcome those pesky voices in my head that continually told me I was a lost cause was a tall order. Every hour of every day a war raged inside me and for so many years, the negative voices had always won, but knowing it and doing something about it are two different things.
The difference between a life that is lived with hope and a life that is lived in desperation comes down to this question. What do you believe? The belief that you don’t matter, that you don’t measure up, that life will never get any better, that you cannot change, is a guarantee that you will stay right where you are.
It’s time to believe for something better.
No matter where you are right now, or how bad your circumstances may look, something miraculous happens when you change what you believe, because what you believe is directly related to what you will receive.
Life is a series of tests. No one is excused. Just like school, you must pass the test to move on. If you are weak in an area, you can be sure that you will continue to be tested there. Armed with that knowledge, problems and struggles in that area are expected and will come as no surprise. Knowledge is power.
What you do with that knowledge is what will determine your future.
I spent the first 35 years of my life believing that I would never get very far. I was told over and over that I didn’t matter and I believed it. The day I stopped believing the lie is the day that everything changed.
Even if no one else in the world believes in you, the most crucial step to getting to the next level is to believe in yourself. There’s a high likelihood that you are surrounded by negative voices telling you that you’ll never get very far and it can’t be done, so it’s important to be able to combat those voices with some powerful messages of your own.
Here’s a story to illustrate my point.
We have a little female cat about six months old. She’s a sweet little girl and has never given us much trouble, other than when she was a kitten and had a deadly virus. Note: There is no such thing as a free cat.
Anyway, I digress.
One day a couple months ago I woke up to find three huge tomcats on my back patio staring a hole through our sliding glass window as our little cat lay asleep in the morning sun. We were a little taken aback by our new visitors and watched them curiously as we ate our breakfast.
That afternoon our little cat started meowing constantly and rubbing against the patio door. We were alarmed at her behavior and tried to keep her busy with distractions, but to no avail. Soon, the tomcats were fighting with each other outside our door and for three long and tortuous days the sound of cats screaming that makes your hair stand up on end was emanating from all around our house, and our little cat nearly lost her mind.
Amid talks of violence and some minor surgical alterations to our unwelcome invaders, a chance phone call to a neighbor gave me some critical information. What you do, she said, is take a bucket of ice cold water and keep it by the door. Whenever they come up there, dump it on them. It’s how they got the term “cold shower.”
I thought it was ridiculous, but at that point, I was willing to try anything. That evening as the hootenanny got into full swing, one by one, the little monsters would come right up to the door. I’d tried the broom and shooing them away, but if you’ve ever had this little phenomenon happen to you, you know that the little buggers are not deterred. They don’t budge. This time, I went out with my trusty bucket of water and dumped it on the closest to the door. His initial reaction was stunned, as he took off across the snow in the yard, as the others sat staring a hole in the door. One by one I went out and dumped cold water on them until the patio was free of all intruders and I dried myself off, satisfied I had solved the problem.
Two hours later our cat was once again rubbing up against the door, meowing loudly, and I ran to look out, but found the patio bare. Curious as to what the problem could be now, I stepped out and looked across the yard to see all those dumb cats sitting on the fence, growling their sinister chant, like dirty old men on a street corner, “Send us the girl.”
I would not be defeated by a gang of hairy letches.
I trudged across the snow with my trusty bucket and one by one doused them where they sat, soaking them with such force and voracity that they flew up into the air and over the fence. Tomcat Popsicles, each and every one.
I have never seen or heard from them again.
Why am I telling you this story? Sometimes the only weapon we have against the negative voices in life is determination and a way to drown them out.
We all fight the tomcats on the fence of our lives who sit and growl their insidious remarks. “You’re not good enough.” You’re stupid.” “No one cares.” “You’ll never amount to anything.” “Nothing’s going to change.” “Give up.” Or whatever your little negative voices say…
If you’re going to beat the tomcats, you better be ready with a bucket of water.
How do you do that? It’s easier than you might think.
Get out a sheet of paper and write a list of 10 things you like about yourself. Let’s call it the “bucket” list. Such as:
1. I am creative.
2. I have a great sense of humor.
3. I am a good cook.
4. I am a good mother.
5. I am a good writer.
6. I smell good. (Most of the time).
7. I am kind to people.
8. I’m a pretty good dancer.
9. I’m worthy to be loved.
10. I’m generous.
Now, make your own.
Next, you are going to write 10 things you wish you could say about yourself, but maybe don’t really believe yet, such as:
11. I am always patient.
12. I am responsible and have energy to accomplish whatever the day calls for.
13. I am honest and think on good things.
14. I am not depressed.
15.I am not pitiful or angry.
16. I am loved and I love everyone.
17. I have self control in all areas of my life.
18. I love to exercise.
19. I am a wise mother.
20. I am blessed.
Get the idea?
The purpose of this list may seem trivial right now, maybe even ridiculous, but the power behind your bucket list is immense. It will become an essential part of your daily life.
The most powerful enemy you have in life is always in your mind. Negative thought patterns and negative input from people must be overcome with positive input. It takes four positives to eliminate one negative, which, if you're anything like me means there's a massive backlog and drastic measures are called for. Since most of us don’t have our own cheering section, with the bucket list we have now become our own cheerleader. I've said mine every day for 10 years and I can honestly tell you that just by speaking them out loud to myself has forever altered the way I think and silenced more negative voices than I can count.
Every day for the next month, pull out your list and say it out loud. The first few times you might feel a little silly, but the more you concentrate on the words and the more often you do it, the easier it will become.
After a month or so, revisit your list and add to it. Need to be more punctual? Add that to your list – i.e., I am punctual and always leave on time. Need to be kinder to people? Add it to the list – i.e. I am kind to everyone around me. Whenever you think of an area that you feel is important, add it to your list.
Make your bucket list a permanent part of your daily life and it will become the catalyst that transforms your future.
