We are surrounded by people yet we feel completely alone. Sound familiar?
In some cases it is due to an innability to truly share ourselves with others for fear of being rejected, in some cases it is feeling "outside the norm", in some cases it is feeling misunderstood. Maybe you have physical limitations or a health crisis. Whatever the case is, whether it be personal or circumstantial, feeling alone can be devastating.
The internet is packed with sites for connecting to other people. It doesn't matter who you are or what your interests are, there's someone out there who wants to talk to you. Single? There are a million dating services. Married? There are a million "help my marriage" sites. Hobbies? Sports? There's a place for every hobbie and sport nut to discuss it. The problem is, with the age of information, the age of face to face contact has dwindled and more and more people are left with the computer screen as their friend instead of a real person. Recently, a friend of mine said to me, " I know my real friends by this question. . . If I fell off the deep end, you know, really messed up, those people would come and get me and pull me back." I thought about this for a while and was shocked to discover that there were only two people, (outside of my family) of the many I know, who would do that for me. I have always been the caretaker, the confidante, the counselor for others. When I am down, not many people come knocking. As a matter of fact, most run the other way. When I am truly in need, most people I know are suddenly very busy with very important things to do. How about you? Who are your "thick and thin" friends?
A couple years ago, a man that I worked with committed suicide suddenly, violently, and without explanation. It was a very traumatic and sobering time for all who knew him and we were shaken to our very core by the weight of it. He was on my team at work and I saw him everyday. He was quiet, but friendly. He was there, but not there, all at the same time. At his funeral, which was the strangest funeral anyone had ever attended, the church was filled with people who all were asking the same question.. Why? It came to light that this man felt so alone and without hope that he saw no other way out. He felt invisible. The kicker was that there was a whole building full of people who would have given anything to have helped him, but he never saw them. We may never know the full reasons for what he did, but one thing we do know - he felt alone amidst a sea of people because he could not bring himself to admit that he needed them and he never let them see what was really in his heart. I was forever changed by that event and resolved that his death would not be for nothing.
May I encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and make some new friends? I know I will. Every city has a community center. Every city has a retirement home, nursing home, hospital. Every city has church organizations, schools that need volunteers, Big Brother, Big Sister programs, foster programs, a soup kitchen, ... the list is endless. The fact is, there are more people who need you than you could ever meet in your lifetime. You ARE needed. You have something very important to share... YOU. I can't emphasize this point enough. YOU are NEEDED. There are folks out there destined to be your "thick and thin" friends and the same goes for YOU. Step out of your small circle and look around. You might be surprised at the group of people you see out there who are looking for YOU.
If you struggle with loneliness, please contact us at:
Lonely@thebutterflypoem.org
We are committed to helping you find the strength and courage you need to find your wings.
In some cases it is due to an innability to truly share ourselves with others for fear of being rejected, in some cases it is feeling "outside the norm", in some cases it is feeling misunderstood. Maybe you have physical limitations or a health crisis. Whatever the case is, whether it be personal or circumstantial, feeling alone can be devastating.
The internet is packed with sites for connecting to other people. It doesn't matter who you are or what your interests are, there's someone out there who wants to talk to you. Single? There are a million dating services. Married? There are a million "help my marriage" sites. Hobbies? Sports? There's a place for every hobbie and sport nut to discuss it. The problem is, with the age of information, the age of face to face contact has dwindled and more and more people are left with the computer screen as their friend instead of a real person. Recently, a friend of mine said to me, " I know my real friends by this question. . . If I fell off the deep end, you know, really messed up, those people would come and get me and pull me back." I thought about this for a while and was shocked to discover that there were only two people, (outside of my family) of the many I know, who would do that for me. I have always been the caretaker, the confidante, the counselor for others. When I am down, not many people come knocking. As a matter of fact, most run the other way. When I am truly in need, most people I know are suddenly very busy with very important things to do. How about you? Who are your "thick and thin" friends?
A couple years ago, a man that I worked with committed suicide suddenly, violently, and without explanation. It was a very traumatic and sobering time for all who knew him and we were shaken to our very core by the weight of it. He was on my team at work and I saw him everyday. He was quiet, but friendly. He was there, but not there, all at the same time. At his funeral, which was the strangest funeral anyone had ever attended, the church was filled with people who all were asking the same question.. Why? It came to light that this man felt so alone and without hope that he saw no other way out. He felt invisible. The kicker was that there was a whole building full of people who would have given anything to have helped him, but he never saw them. We may never know the full reasons for what he did, but one thing we do know - he felt alone amidst a sea of people because he could not bring himself to admit that he needed them and he never let them see what was really in his heart. I was forever changed by that event and resolved that his death would not be for nothing.
May I encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and make some new friends? I know I will. Every city has a community center. Every city has a retirement home, nursing home, hospital. Every city has church organizations, schools that need volunteers, Big Brother, Big Sister programs, foster programs, a soup kitchen, ... the list is endless. The fact is, there are more people who need you than you could ever meet in your lifetime. You ARE needed. You have something very important to share... YOU. I can't emphasize this point enough. YOU are NEEDED. There are folks out there destined to be your "thick and thin" friends and the same goes for YOU. Step out of your small circle and look around. You might be surprised at the group of people you see out there who are looking for YOU.
If you struggle with loneliness, please contact us at:
Lonely@thebutterflypoem.org
We are committed to helping you find the strength and courage you need to find your wings.
The Butterfly ProjectŠ 2008
All rights reserved.
All rights reserved.
